Lost Lives and Broken Hearts
by PennyStarling17
Summary: What happens when the brillant Dr. Spencer Reid falls for a beautiful musician with a dark and secretive past?
1. Preface

In the single second it took me took react, he already pulled away and smirked at me, his eyes holding mine. He gave me a single nod and left, but I knew on both of our minds was the single instance when our lips met and my heart stopped.

This wasn't suppose to happen. Me, fall in love? I had sworn long, long ago that love was not for me. But why did this feel so… right? What was happening? He was in the F.B. freaking I. for God's sake! What was I doing? I was only setting myself up to get hurt. And the true question was: why the hell had I allowed it to go so far? To allow him to steal my heart...

Fate was so unkind.

But then again, it wasn't like fate had been fair to me before. Everything, everyone I ever loved, all gone in a heart-stopping second.

I slid to the cold, hard tile of the basement of the 5th street library, my heart threatening to pound straight out of my chest. Had it really been only a month since we had met? It felt like I had known him forever.

_Is this what love feels like?_ I wondered. The closest thing to love I had ever felt had been ripped out of my heart and brutally destroyed a lifetime ago.

_This can't be happening… but… it… is… _

I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my lips.

_Oh, Spencer..._


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or OHSHC or Homeless Heart. I do own the plot and the other characters.**

**Sorry for the short start but it was just a preview of what will happen and it was in Alice's POV. Now it's third person. Hope you enjoy!**

**~OOooOO~**

A month earlier…

"Mrs. Michelson? It's me, Alice." She tapped on the shoulder of the elderly librarian in front of her.

"Oh, you're here a bit early, dear." She smiled and patted Alice's cheek.

"There are a few kids still here but go ahead," she said, gently pushing her to the grand piano in the middle of the reading room.

Alice came once a week to make sure the piano was still in tune. It wasn't really necessary but she knew how few people came to the 5th street library anymore and how lonely Mrs. Michelson got, so she came, a smile fixed on her lips and sheet music in hand.

Quickly checking the piano, Alice found it was still perfectly in tune.

_Why wouldn't it be? _She thought. _Barely anyone comes here and if they do, they're not here to play the piano. _

She sat on the chair and stretched out her fingers. An unspoken promise she had made to Mrs. Michelson was to play a song and sing every time she came. Because of her arthritis, she couldn't play anymore, but she still loved the piano. So Alice played for her.

Her fingers easily drew across the keys as she played _Homeless Heart._

She had just recently learned the song and the words easily rolled off of her tongue, fingers gliding across the keys.

_If you're needing, a soul-to-soul connection, I'll run to your side…_

**~OOooOO~**

Spencer Reid snapped his head up at hearing the words that had been stuck in his head all day. He followed the drifting piano music to the reading room. Quickly glancing at the page number, he closed his book, sat on the arm of a chair behind the piano, and listened to the words a small, black haired young woman sang.

_If you're running, in the wrong direction, I will lead you back…_

The words rang in his ears as her voice became the only thing in the room to him.

Mrs. Michelson smiled as she glanced in the room to see the two together, just like how she had planned.

The music stopped and Alice's soft voice whispered the words…

_When you're lost in the dark, when you're out in the cold, When you're looking for something that resembles your soul. When the wind blows your house of cards, I'll be a home to your homeless heart. When your looking for something that resembles your soul, When the wind blows your house of cards, I'll be a home to your homeless heart. I'll be a home to your homeless heart._

Alice's fingers reluctantly left the pure white piano keys.

Spencer clapped and she spun around in surprise, tripping over the legs of the stool and hitting her elbows on the keys, creating a bang. Spencer quickly came and helped her stand, cursing himself for scaring her.

"Thanks." Alice blinked at Spencer. "I just didn't know anyone else was in here."

"Sorry," he grimaced. "You're- uh- really good." He gestured to the piano.

She blushed. "Thanks. I found how to play the song online and I had to try." She grinned.

"Umm…" He blinked, finding himself lost in her dark gray eyes. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid." He held out his hand.

She shook it. "Alice Kokawa. Nice to meet you."

Alice quickly looked him over. He was tall, compared to her, lanky, brown hair, warm intelligent brown eyes that immediately caught hers, making her blush.

He was also looking her over. She was pale, Japanese, barely reached his chin, had long, silky black hair, and dark, intelligent, but sad, gray eyes.

"You too." He murmured. She smiled.

Just then the grandfather clock in the room chimed out the hour, 8 p.m.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I've got to go!" She turned to leave but then spun to smile at Spencer. "I'll see you soon, Spencer." She disappeared out the door.

"She's a special one, that Alice," Mrs. Michelson said behind him. She smiled when he turned to look at her. "She should be here tomorrow. She'll be here at 7:30 pm." She offered another smile before leaving.

Spencer nodded to himself and left, after placing the book he was holding back. All the way back to his house, his only thoughts were of Alice Kokawa, a mystery in and of herself.

Alice's mind, too, was on Spencer. She smiled and couldn't help but think of when they would meet again.

Neither knew what they were getting into.

**What do you think? This my first fan fic. So please review! (Kindly, if you may) I hope to add another chapter soon, but it might not happen till Monday. Till then!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or OHSHC! Hope you like this chapter! This is a bit more horrific, so if you don't have a strong stomach, don't read the italics! Either way, you can skip it…**

**~OOooOO~**

Two weeks later…

"No, I can play the guitar, though." Alice easily replied, her eyes locked on Spencer's.

He pursed his lips, shifting through the questions he had for her.

"Where did you go to high school?" he finally asked.

She grinned. "St. Catharine's Academy in Italy." It was a small lie, but a necessary one.

"Where were you born?" Spencer asked before he took a swig of his water.

"Tokyo, Japan. Don't worry Mr. F.B.I. I'm here legally." She giggled as he tossed his napkin at her.

"I kind of figured you would be." They both laughed.

They sat in the reading room of the 5th Street library, at 10 pm. After everyone had left for the day, Mrs. Michelson had ordered the two of them to meet her there and when they arrived, the discovered several tables pushed together and some rather awful Chinese food set out, which they quickly ate, both starving after a long day at work.

Alice set down her carton. "I feel guilty. You just got back, shouldn't you be sleeping?" Spencer had just arrived back a few hours ago from Dallas, Texas.

"I slept on the plane," he responded. She frowned but let it go.

He picked up her freezing hand and said, "Don't worry, Alice. If I suddenly pass out from lack of sleep, just push me out off of my chair. I'm sure that'll wake me up." She smiled at him.

They had started dating before Spencer left for Dallas. Alice felt the full thrust of having a loved one out on the front line and it had worried her sick.

Spencer had been absently rubbing her wrists when he realized they had slightly raised, smooth lines.

He swallowed, hard. He had seen lines like these before. "Alice?" his voice sounded strange.

"Hmm?" She glanced at him, confused.

"What happened to your wrists?" his words barely audible.

Her eyes fell on where his gaze was locked, her scarred wrists.

Alice's face completely paled and her eyes lost focus as she heard the screams that had haunted her nightmares for weeks, no, _years _after that horrible December night…

**~OOooOO~**

"_NO! Leave her alone!" her voice was lost in the wildly whipping wind, that sprayed ice cold snow in her eyes._

"_Quiet, girl!" someone snarled. A hand clasped around her mouth._

"_Sarah!" She screamed against the black, gloved hand. All she could do was watch in horror as her friend screamed and was hit to the ground._

_Two men grabbed Sarah's wrists as two others grabbed her own._

"_One… Two… Three…" They murmured and on that horrid 'three' the sharp agony of razors sliced into her wrists._

_Her screams could not be heard, but Sarah's could. The screams slammed in to her, burning their way into her brain, to be stuck there forever._

"_Sarah!" Her voice faded as the blood loss began to really take affect._

"_Daddy! I want my daddy!" Her choked off voice cried. She felt someone smooth her hair back._

"_I'm so sorry to do this to you, Kyoka…" Was that Michael?_

"_Daddy! Where's my-" She gasped as someone lifted her fragile 13 year-old body up. Sarah's not moving…_

"_Sarah?…" She called sleepily, tears in her eyes. Her vision began to blur. Barely able to keep her eyes opened, she mustered one last scream before fading into blackness._

"_SARAH!"_

**~OOooOO~**

"Alice?" Spencer's voice brought her back to the present.

"What?" She jumped.

"I asked what happened to your wrists?" his eyes searched hers.

This was a secret she had held for 12 long, lonely years. _Can I trust him? _She wondered.

"An accident, 12 years ago," she lied.

His eyes hardened. "Please don't lie to me, Alice."

She shook her head. "It's a complicated truth, Spencer. That's all you need to know." She stood, bag and empty carton in hand and threw a half-hearted smile at him. She disappeared out the front door and threw the empty carton into the trash.

Slipping down the street, she paused to adjust her jacket and glanced back at the library to see Spencer looking for her.

She sighed and reluctantly away. _I'm setting myself to get hurt. _She thought angrily. "Stupid love," she muttered, annoyed with herself and her horrible, sickening, past.

"He deserves better," she whispered as she turned and walked quickly down the street, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

If only she knew it wouldn't be that easy to leave a forget Dr. Spencer Reid.

**Hope you all liked this chapter. Sorry it's so short. I'll try to write longer chapters.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hello, all! Sorry it took so long to add on this chapter. (I was working on my other fan fics.) But here it is! Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or OHSHC. Enjoy!**

Two days later…

Emily Prentiss leaned against Derek Morgan's desk. "Have you noticed how distracted Reid's been lately?" she asked.

Morgan nodded. "I know. I wonder what's eating at him."

Dave Rossi walked in with Aaron Hotchner and Jennifer Jareau.

Emily nodded to them and continued with another question. "He was really upset yesterday. Any idea who was he calling over and over?"

Morgan shook his head. "Not a clue."

"Are you talking about Reid?" Dave asked. They both nodded.

"I've noticed it too," JJ murmured, concern wrinkling her forehead.

"Being distracted is not the best thing for this job," Hotch added. Morgan and Dave nodded in agreement.

Just then, Reid walked in, looking deep in thought. He absently tossed his bag onto his desk and opened his phone as he fell into his chair. Glaring at the screen, he considered calling Alice again. She hadn't answered any of his 18 rambling, apologizing messages. He should have been more careful when asking what had happened to her wrists. _But what did happen to her? _he thought, worriedly.

"Hey, Reid?" Emily asked. He glanced up. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" he grumbled, snapping his phone shut.

"You've been distracted lately," Hotch responded, crossing his arms.

JJ placed her hand on his arm. "We just want to help, Spence," she said, gently. The others nodded in agreement.

Reid stood and muttered, "I don't need your help. Everything is fine." He turned and left.

Morgan stood and was about to follow, when Reid's phone rang.

They all glanced at each other. Finally, Morgan picked up the phone and answered.

"Hello?" Emily murmured to Dave and Hotch that she was going to get Reid and quickly left.

"Hospital?" Morgan's sharp voice cut through the air. The others glanced up at him.

Reid grabbed the phone from Morgan and glared at him. "This is Dr. Reid," he snapped into the phone. His voice and body language changed. "Are you sure it's my card?" he asked. He nodded. "I'll be right there." He snapped his phone shut and turned to leave.

"Reid?" Emily asked as Morgan grabbed Reid's bag and said, "I'll drive."

"Will someone explain what the hell is going on?" Dave demanded.

Morgan ushered the team to the door. "An Alice Kokawa had Reid's card and she fainted at the 5th Street Library."

"What hospital?" Emily asked as they started the car.

"St. Sebastian." Morgan answered, pulling onto out.

Hotch frowned, remembering his last encounter at St. Sebastian. (See Episode 5x1, Nameless, Faceless)

JJ looked over at Reid, who was frowning out the window. "Who's Alice Kokawa?" she asked in a soft voice.

Everyone but Morgan looked at Reid, who locked eyes with JJ. "My girlfriend."

"You have a… girlfriend?" Hotch asked, a small smirk on his face.

Morgan grinned. "That's good news, kid! When were you going to tell us?" He briefly glanced at Reid then back at the road.

Reid srugged, looking back out the window.

They pulled into the hospital and Reid was out the door in a flash.

He stopped in front of the nurse's station. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid." He pulled out his badge.

The nurse nodded. "Room 16, on your left." He nodded his thanks and all but ran down the hall.

He pulled open the door to Alice's room, just as she was pulling on her jacket.

Spinning around, Alice's face showed surprise at seeing Reid, but she smiled and said, "Umm, hi."

Reid's face flushed. "Oh, sorry. I-I just…"

She laughed. "It's okay, Spencer. I was completely dressed when you came in," she smiled again.

"Still, I should have knocked," Reid's face remained flushed.

Alice's smile faded as she remembered the reason she had ended up in the hospital. She grabbed Spencer's arm. "I have to get to St. Sebastian's Hospital!" she exclaimed, wild panic in her eyes.

Reid started. "You're at St. Sebastian's," he said slowly, confusion on his face.

Panic was quickly replaced by fierce determination. "I have to get to Room 28. M-my…" she faltered.

Spencer wrapped his arm around her waist. "Let's go." He pulled her to the door and they quickly went to Room 28. Alice pushed open the door.

"Daichi…" Lying on the bed was an unconscious young man with his black hair around his face. His heart monitor beeped unsteadily.

The tears fell silently down Alice's face. "Daichi," she sniffled. She sat in the chair by his bed.

Not sure what to do, Reid mumbled, "Be right back." and slipped out the door.

He walked back to the nurse's station and asked the nurse, "Who's in Room 28?"

"One second," she replied and typed something into the computer.

"Reid?" Morgan and the others came up behind him. "Did you find her?"

Reid nodded and was about to say something when the nurse interrupted, "Daichi Ootori is in Room 28."

"Is he going to be okay?" Reid asked, his attention snapping back to her.

Her cheery smile faded. "He was pretty badly wounded in a hit and run. The 5th one in two weeks." She shook her head. "The doctor's don't think he's going to make it much longer."

"What does Alice have to do with him?" Reid demanded.

She frowned. "I figured she would have told you. She's his sister. He had her card on him when he came in. I believe the shock is what brought her in on a stretcher."

"Thank you," Reid mumbled. He walked back to Room 28 with the others on his tail.

He opened the door and came too sat beside Alice, who was silently sobbing. She glanced up at Spencer and forced a smile for him. She turned back to her brother, trying to remain hopeful.

Daichi Ootori stirred and Alice leapt out of her chair and sat beside him. "Dai. How are you feeling?" Alice kept the pain out of her voice and quickly whipped the tears away.

"Kyoka?" he murmured.

She smiled her best host smile, mimicking the one her dad wore in tense situations. "Hai."

He smiled a sad smile at her. "You're using the host smile, so do I have to ask if it's bad?"

She laughed lightly, while the team looked at each other, completely lost. "Do you?" she responded.

"Well, tell me if I get to go back to Japan, at least." he murmured.

She stiffened and shifted into her Shadow Princess role. "In your coffin," she responded, coldly.

He nodded. "Good to hear." He grinned. "The Shadow Princess is back. Looks like Keiji was wrong. I win." He coughed, roughly.

Alice's hands tightly gripped Daichi's. "You idiot," she grumbled. She locked eyes with him. "I swear you act like you are the son of Tamaki Suoh sometimes." He grinned at her.

His eyes closed and his heartbeat went flat.

"Daichi?" Panic rose in her voice as a nurse and doctor came in.

"Miss? You need to move." The nurse looked to Reid for help.

He wrapped an arm around Alice's waist. "Come on Alice." He pulled her to the chairs as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Daichi?"

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm going on vacation for the week, so I don't know when I'll be able to update again. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey, Hey, Hey! Sorry for the depressing ending to the last chapter, but Daichi had to go so the BIG SURPRISE could come! (Dum dum dum!) Hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a little short so… yeah… **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds or OHSHC. **

**~OOooOO~**

A little later…

Alice stiffled a sob and leaned against Spencer. They had just arrived back at the F.B.I. headquarters and Alice was sitting next to Reid at his desk.

"Alice? Can I get you anything?" Emily asked, leaning down to look Alice in the eye.

She gave Emily a small smile. "No thank you, Agent Prentiss." Emily smiled and walked back to where the others were.

Hotch walked in. "The D.C. police invited us in to investigate these hit-and-runs and we called the nearest relative of Daichi Ootori," Hotch paused and glanced at Alice. "Besides Alice. He should be here soon."

"Who?" JJ asked.

"A Kyoya Ootori," Hotch answered.

Alice stiffened and was on her feet in an instant.

Reid looked up in surprise. "Alice?" Her face had become cold and calculating. She caught her left wrist in her right hand behind her back and ran her thumb over her scars.

"I'll be back." She turned and left, disappearing down the hall towards the bathroom.

Reid stood and was about to follow. JJ caught his arm.

"Give her a minute, Spence. She's been through a lot today." He nodded.

"Agent Hotchner?" Hotch turned and quietly talked to another agent.

Two bodyguards came in behind a tall man. He had black hair, dark grey eyes, just like Alice's, hidden behind glasses. He wore a suit (no tie) and a frown.

He shook Hotch's hand. "Kyoya Ootori."

Hotch nodded. "Agent Hotchner."

Kyoya's eyes swept over the other agents and stopped, just behind Reid.

"Kyoka?" He asked.

Alice stepped forward, a perfect host smile on her face, one that could only be learned from Kyoya Ootori. "Hi, dad."

**Oh no! Cliffhanger! It kills me to leave off here, but I've got to start getting ready for school. (Like memorizing my schedule and stuff like that. Only a week and five days left before school starts. :( I'll add on more when I can and please review!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey, Hey, Hey! I'm glad to FINALLY be back! I have several excuses as to why it took me sooooo long to update. 1. My flashdrive crashed and I had to restart from the beginning. 2. School sucks. I've already had, like, 80 projects to do and 3. Too many of my friends have birthdays around this time. I'm too busy trying to discover what I should really get them. I've known most of them for along time and I still don't know what I should get them. Anyways, here's my new chapter. Enjoy! **

"Kyoka, may I speak with you." Kyoya gave Alice a host smile, one that mirrored hers.

"Of course." She nodded, not sure what else to do. What was she suppose to say to him?

They walked down the hall to the war room and stepped inside. Kyoya closed the door.

Emily grimaced. "That looks tense." She looked at Reid. "Her dad?"

He shrugged, eyes still locked on the war room. "Not sure."

They all turned to look at him. "Not sure?" Rossi asked.

Reid shrugged. "She doesn't talk about her family much." He paused. "Really, not at all."

"Do you know why?" Emily asked.

Reid shook his head. "She has secrets. All I know is that they are very painful for her."

J.J. frowned. "What do you mean?"

Reid sighed, not sure how to explain the scars when even he didn't know the truth about them. "I'm not sure, myself."

The team pondered this when Alice and Kyoya came back from the war room. Alice looked tense and Kyoya spoke quickly in Japanese to his guards, nodded to Hotch and left after throwing a meaningful look at Alice, who nodded.

Reid walked to her side and took her hand. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head. Her cheeks were bright red and she looked like she was holding back tears.

"You want to tell us what's going on?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. "My real name is Kyoko Ootori. I was kidnapped about 12 years ago. They left me with a family and I was forced to start over."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" JJ asked, a frown on her face.

She laughed, the humor not really making sense to anyone else. "Trust me, I'd much rather be alone in the U.S. then back in Japan with The T.F. after me."

"The T.F.?" J.J. asked.

Alice nodded. "The Tribunal of the Fates."

"The Fates, like in Greek Mythology?" Garcia asked.

Alice nodded. "They've been trying to kill my family for generations."

"The Ootori family?" Morgan asked.

She shook her head. "My mother's family, the Brisbanes'."

Surprise gripped the team, though none of them showed it. Emily was the first to speak. "The Brisbanes', as in _the _Brisbanes' who have cured hundreds of dieses?"

Alice only nodded.

Reid touched her shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me about any of this?"

Alice shrugged helplessly. "I… thought you wouldn't believe me," she whispered.

Reid wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Is that how you got the scars?" he asked quietly.

Confusion flashed across the teams faces as Alice nodded.

"Scars?" Rossi asked.

Reid and Alice looked at each other. She sighed and rolled up her sleeves, revealing her scarred wrists.

"Yeah, that's how I got the scars," Alice answered quietly.

The team exchanged silent looks, as the lights went out.

There was a scream.

**Cliffhanger! Till next time, which will, hopefully, be soon.**


End file.
